Duck Duck Cougar?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
