I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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