Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Houston, we have a squirter
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize