Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
