so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize