The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
