Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
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