She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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