Jerry, you need to find god
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
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