allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize