Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
can u get pink eye on your cock?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
