She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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