these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
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