As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
