Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
