What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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