Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
