Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
