This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
