Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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