AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
