Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
