He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
