I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize