do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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