There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You are the jesus of drinking
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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