You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I need to align my fucking chakras
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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