you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
