Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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