woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
