this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize