Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
