Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
