come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
