The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
