My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
