What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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