And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
