At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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