apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
