Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
