His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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