I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
