i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
