I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
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Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
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Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.