it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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