please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?