atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
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I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
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I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.