White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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