he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
