My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
