Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
