sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
