I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
