I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
