new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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