Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
