I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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