I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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