jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
