I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
