im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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