Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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