wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"