I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
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HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
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This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.