sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
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It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
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I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.