that's an acceptable place to lick
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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