i jhust puked up my retainher.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
