tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize