hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize