My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just saw a hot homeless man
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
God, I missed his penis.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
