A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
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