census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize