Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize